For Standing By Me

Yesterday, I was able to briefly talk to one of my tuesday night bffs and during the conversation, I was able to hear how sincerely happy she is to be at the school of her dreams. Which was blessing to hear, not only to know that she was very much happy, but kind of a confirmation that following your heart is the most important thing to do. That even if you're scared of leaving behind everything you love and know, eventually things will fall into place.
As Bruce Crampton said "Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do." My ego desires to be where I feel my heart belongs, my experience tells me that it's time to spread my wings and head out on my own, it also reminds me of how little I have truly experienced with out my family standing by my side. But with persistance, I plan to allow my nerves to guide me, to go where my heart is being called, and allow my experience of the world to grow, and where eventually my nerves will begin to subside until there presence in but a shadow of there former existance.
I know through all of this I will grow as a person ultimately, but I would like to thank several people who have helped me follow my heart and not let the nerves get the best of me. This is for those of you who have stood beside me....

Dad

All though It will be hard to not have you with me, I know that the distance is nothing compared to the capcity of our relationship. I appreciate you offering to drive me down, and I can not wait to spend those days with you stopping at as many diners, drive-ins and dives as we can along the way. You are an amazing father, and I am glad I can do this and know Chance has someone else to look to for comfort and love.

Brianna

You are my sister and best friend, and Im so glad I have been able to turn to you through the good and the bad, and always know that you would be honest and true with me. You are an outgoing person, and helped me stick to my guns and keep with it. I love you and wish you could come with me!!

Lisa

Your an amazing person and I cant wait to hang out with you once I get to Texas!! Your my best friend and I owe you so much for all that you have taught me! You taught me how to be an amazing teacher, friend and all around good person. To accept who I am and be proud of it as well as comfortable. I have missed you these past couple months and have been counting down the days until we can go shopping again. (less than 80 days to go!!)

Lizzie-Poo

Your an amazing person, and I am soo glad that we took those breaks together and go to know each other before the end of the school year!! To have someone going through the same fears as me and understood exactly what I was going through and then being to tell me that it is all worth it is the best gift I could ask for. I love you and I miss you terribly and I believe a visit to Texas this coming summer is in order my dear!!

♥Without you all, I would be lost♥

Cherish Book

After yesterdays realization of how different life on my own and being away from my family and my dog will be, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to make a Cherish Book. Basically, I will compile all the things I will miss about home and document them in a scrapbook to take with me. I know some people might be like "How is that going to help? wouldn't that make you even more upset looking at all the things you left behind?" and my answer is this:
I believe being able to look back on times that have come to pass and being able to enjoy the moment rather then regret the that time has disappeared into the past like all other moments to only be remembered in ones memory is important in being able to deal with change and both the gains and losses that come with it. I don't have to think, "oh, I'm never going to see him (my dog Chance) again" or " I will never be able to have the same relationship with my family as I once did before". I believe, perceiving is everything. Think about it, if a person looks at their life and thinks "My life sucks" do you believe their are really going to strive to seeing anything but a negative situation. Even in the worst of situations, there is always a beckon of light guiding the way to a happier life. But the only way to get to that happier life, is by believing that it is possible. Therefore, I believe that even through the sad, there is always good. So although I will be reflecting on the past I will still be able to enjoy what the present has to offer. After all, "there is no better gift than the present"♥
On another note! I have the perfect scrapbook to use for my Cherish Book, ironically it was given to me by my best friend who has just recently (over the summer) moved to San Antonio, Texas about 30 minutes or so away from where I will be. (Thank goodness I will have her!!) Here is a picture of the exterior of the Scrapbook:

Chance

OK, so its decide, on top of missing my family and all the times we have had together, one of the things I will be missing greatly until I graduate is my puppy dog (he is really 7 but will always be my puppy) Chance. We have literally been through everything together and depended on each other when we both felt alone. I got Chance when he was 9 months old and had been to 5 homes, one of which he was abused, before he ended up with me. He is the sweetest, most wonderful, lovable cutie ever and it will be weird not having him by my side. But until I get a place for us to finally call home, he will be staying with "grandpa", as my sister so kindly puts it, for a while but there wont be a day were I don't think about his little face

P.S. here is a picture to show you just how cute he is ♥

I love you Chance, Forever and Always♥

A Journey of My Own

Within the next couple of months, I will be embarking on one of the most exciting and yet the most terrifying journey's I have yet to experience. On the first of January I will set forth on a 25 hour, 1,529 mile journey from my home in Centreville, Virginia to San Marcos, Texas where I will be not only be pursuing an education as a student at Texas State, but a life of my own.

The purpose of this blog will be to document the journey along the way, capturing every aspect of it in its purist form. It will be the home to all the joyous moments, the days of doubt, and the story of eventually finding home of my own. As Matsuo Basho said “Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” and this is....

A Journey of My Own